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One crafty writer’s never-say-die quest to tell a story for the page or screen.

Hey! I’m that guy trying to sell my latest screenplay, publish it as a novel or die trying.

In DIE TRYING, you will get an unvarnished look at a bitterly honest writer struggling to make it. No name-dropping or Hollywood phoniness. Just the facts ma’am on what the media landscape is really like behind the curtain.

In TODAY’S ISSUE, we ditch screenwriting and pitch a killer new tech idea.

Last Saturday, on the 4th of July, I was stuffing my face, watching the World Cup. Morocco and Canada were battling it out.

The day before, my family and I attended my parents’ 4th of July party, and we came home with enough abundant leftovers that Ezra Klein would pop a woody.

I ate about eight sticks of chicken speared on sticks, scarfed down even more ham-chunk spears, inhaled half a 15-oz. Party Size bag of Spicy Hot Cheetos, threw down too many cheese cubes to keep count while washing it all down with at least eight Diet Coke and Sprite Mini Cans.

This is how you celebrate America’s birthday. A shameless gluttonous binge.

As I watched Morocco school Canada, I got World Cup fever. The United States would play Belgium in a few days, with a chance to reach the quarterfinals.

USA! USA!! USA!!!

Then Donald Trump saw a spotlight that didn’t include him, strong-armed FIFA and killed the buzz.

All this made me think of an idea…

AVOID MEDIA STRUMPETS

Gotta be honest, I’m logging off attempts at a screenwriting career. Hollywood has her eyes on a younger man.

And, if you think about it, the industry is kind of washed. Entertainment conglomerates are putting themselves on the block for sale because show- biz assets are basically dead weight to Wall Street analysts.

So I am determined to make my fortune where Willy Sutton would steal from ‘cuz that’s where the money’s at.

Tech!

Yes, I have a tech idea inspired by the most powerful man in the world, who couldn't kill the Knicks’ vibe. Gotham’s finest did eventually win a World Championship despite him attending game two, which led to hours-long delays for fans and resulted in their one loss in the finals.

Undaunted, he did kill the USMNT’s vibe at the World Cup by pissing off the Europeans, who then gave the Americans a beatdown on the pitch.

So what’s my idea?

#DELETEMEDIASTRUMPETS

An app on your phone that deletes any mention or imagery of a media whore clamoring for attention in our attention economy.

In copywriting, you’re supposed to solve the prospect’s pain point, so let me paint a picture.

My prospect wakes up the day after a glutonous binge and just wants some peace and quiet on the can while doomscrolling. But he opens his phone, and You-Know-Who is everywhere. Gmail has email news alerts from newspapers. YouTube has videos of FIFA bending the knee. Even The Athletic and sports sites, once holy refuge to get away from politics, are blasting the story on 11.

So my prospect downloads DELTE MEDIA STRUMPETS and removes any mentions of Orange Godzilla eating the world.

Lovely peace and quiet doomscrolling now!

To be fair to the right, Trump isn’t the only keyword candidate for DELETE MEDIA STRUMPETS.

Taylor Swift is a strong candidate for blocking. So is LeBron (but not if he goes to the Heat).

Once I get funding from Silicon Valley and we make gonzo money, I have a second app to launch.

#FINDRECLUSES

Find any media mentions or breadcrumbs from fascinating people who have retreated from the world.

Here is my ranked Top 3 of people I would keyword target on FIND RECLUSES:

1. The ghost of Greta Garbo

2. The ghost of J.D. Salinger

3. Thomas Pynchon

So there is my idea. Make me rich, tech overlords!

As part of my product research, who would you target for DELETE MEDIA STRUMPETS or FIND RECLUSES?

Hit reply and let me know!